this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
