Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We were destined to go to rehab together
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize