theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
I want her autograph on my taint
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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