I'd wear matching sweaters with you
North Korea, Best Korea!
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
