I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
