What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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