you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
