Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize