you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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