Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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