i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
