that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
