she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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