Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
