Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
