I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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