the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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