how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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