Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He shit in the fireplace
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
