Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Randomize