I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
