Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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