you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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