dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Randomize
