i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
Randomize
