I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
MIDGETS
????
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Randomize
