this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
