I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
