My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
