ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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