So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
