Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
My cat gives me a boner
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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