Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I need a burrito and a hug.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Randomize
