I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
