He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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