Whod you bang
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Randomize
