Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
