Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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