So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize