vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
