saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
