The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
