once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
