i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Randomize