Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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