After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
