If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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