In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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