dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
They should really pass out barf bags in church
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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