I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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