I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Randomize
