They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
