How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize