dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
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