I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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