if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize