Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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