last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
