I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
