Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
