sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize