Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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