If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize