I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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