i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Sext me about skeletons
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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