oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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