i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
