Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize