I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
