..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
