someone get that fucking seahorse.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
