Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
Randomize