The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
