Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
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