she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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