I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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